Social Psychology Department of Psychology University of Houston 126 Heyne Building Houston, TX 77204-5022 (713) 743-8500
Lab Principles (Things to practice in working with others)
Love one another.
We spend a lot of time together and are like a family. We may not always like each other but let’s appreciate each other and support one another.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Do not think badly of others.
When you find yourself thinking badly of someone else. Remember that you are not perfect and that the person you are thinking about isn’t either. Consider their perspective.
Do not speak badly of others.
Don’t slander or gossip. If you do number 3 you don’t have to worry about number 4.
Do not think of yourself as better than others. Rather, think of others more than yourself.
Always trying to be first or to get the most by attending only to self-serving goals will affect the way others respond to you and ultimately leave you with little of value. Put others needs ahead of your own, give to others, be generous with your time and resources. You will achieve far more by helping others achieve and you will find much greater satisfaction.
Do not be easily offended.
We cause as much grief when we take offence as when we give it. Let it go. Your resentment towards another is a burden to you.
Respond to aggression with kindness.
Counterattacks in verbal exchanges rarely improve the situation and usually only escalate conflict. This one is very difficult but we get lots of opportunities to practice it.
Check yourself before you try to correct someone else,
Why are you bothered by them? What is it about them that makes you offended? Are there things that you are doing that are worse just as bad or worse?
Go to a person who has offended you.
If someone does something or says something that really bothers you, don’t talk about it to others before you go to that person yourself. First, do #8. Second, go to them privately and express what it is that is bothering you and then listen to their perspective. If you still cannot find a peaceful resolution, then and ONLY then, consider discreetly seeking direction from others.
Forgive others when they offend you.
Resentment is your burden. It is up to you to forgive. They don’t have to deserve it. Forgiveness frees you from the burden of resentment.