INTERPERSONAL
COMMUNICATION
INVOLVES . . .

Effective Listening
We sometimes think we are listing when we are not. For instance, we jump to conclusions before someone finishes a sentence. Maybe we even finish the sentence for them.

Appropriate Self-disclosure
Knowing when to share personal information is important. Would you tell all your secrets to a stranger or wait until you knew them better?

Audience Understanding
Try to look at the other person's point of view. If you see the situation from their eyes, you might understand better and be able to assist better.

Perceptual Clarity
Each individual perceives things differently. It is important to get in the other point of view to have accurate perception of the situation.

Channel Awareness (all senses)
Being aware of who is sending the message, who is receiving, what the message is and the channels used is vital to understanding correctly. Pay Attention to the signals! Use all the senses to listen! Some messages are mixed messages which include verbal and non-verbal cues. These cues might be missed if attention isn't paid to the message. For instance, someone might say "Come back and see us real soon." This sounds nice enough, but if the person grimaced when they said it, that could signal an untruth.

Effective Verbal Messages (reasoning, evidence, credibility, organization and style)
Using these factors to establish respect and understanding of the situation is important in the communication process. A good communicator will establish credibility and present it with good reasoning and evidence.

Effective Nonverbal Messages
Language allows us to go where we need to go in communication. It's like a map. It isn't as important to know it as it is to know how to use it correctly. Words seldom capture all there is to say. A caring touch, a caring look or other nonverbal cues say a lot. These things can reinforce messages and create sincerity:

Vocalics

• Rate...This is how fast or slowly you speak.
  
• Pitch...This is how high or low you speak on a musical scale.
  
• Rhythm...This is use of pauses that create rhythm in your speech.
  
• Volume...This is how loud or soft you speak.
  
• Tone...This is how happy or sad or exited your voice sounds.
  
• Quality...This is the texture of the voice. Is it husky? breathy? melodious?
  

Kinesics

• Monitor your body language (gestures ... eyes ... facial expression ... posture.)
  
• What does a confident person look like? What about a depressed person?
  

Artifacts

• Remember clothes & objects communicate
  
• What do tennis shoes and a tennis racket tell you about the person?
  

Touch is important

• What is appropriate at what level? Would a handshake be appropriate at school? What about a hug?
  

Proxemics

• Standing 0" to 18" apart is intimate space; 18" to 3-1/2' apart is personal distance (at arm's length); 3-1/2' to 4' apart is social distance.
  

Consider environmental factors (climate, comfort, color)

• How does gloomy weather make you feel? What about a comfortable chair or uncomfortable desk? What about a blue wall? What about an orange and red room?
  
• Listen to what is not said. Watch for deviations from known norms.
  
• Pay attention and look for signs of unusual behaviour.